Isn't like me to not be able to handle things but I think dog rescue has finally caught up with me, all the sadness, the mean people, the faces of dogs who are scheduled to die or did die in a shelter alone and scared. Then trying to do the right thing and feeling like a punching bag. As my bff said I have a sign on my head that says "wipe your ass here". I try to look at things from both sides. Ok, if I were in their shoes what would I have done or would I do. And what did I do to piss them off or to cause this or that to happen and I am going to be real honest sometimes yes I can see where I could have done something different. Like for example I could have said no I won't take the binder and give to Sharon. But in the case of the dog I gave the people that have her every opportunity to sing a contract and honestly only get a puppy party e-vite from me. But instead they acted like jerks. So not sure what I could have done differently there except not to care at all. Just not sure I can do that, not care it is hard to do. Why is that.
I love it when someone asks "Is the dog free?" My response is yes, you just pay all the medical bills. Or when someone asks if I can lower the adoption fee. Really? You find me a perfectly healthy pet and you get all the vet care done on it and let me know what was better, paying a $100 or $200 adoption fee or dealing with all the vet appointments and paying all those bills. Well let's see what else has been going on. Finally received a judgment in the photo album case, again. And again it states I didn't do anything wrong besides accidentally miss placing it. The issue with the dog that was placed without my knowledge still continues. I totally don't understand what the heck they are trying to do, wish it would finally come to a head. I would love to go to court and sit in front of a judge with all of those who support me and say "I was trying to do the best thing for the dog and (insert name here) was rude and nasty. She told me I could have the dog back and when I asked for the dog back she got a lawyer." My anxiety has been a bit out of control. I can't handle any type of "negative" attitude from anyone.
Last Thursday I got in 5 dogs from a hoarding case in Fayette County. The females were scared, dirty, flea infested, bad teeth, ear infections, skin issues from the fleas, you name it. The boys were in pretty good shape, was actually surprised they came from a hoarder situation. I am guessing they were handled a little more then the girls. I just don't understand how people can see dogs in this condition and think it is ok? I understand that it is a mental disease but doesn't anyone around them do or say anything before it gets to this point? Just seems like there have been a large number of hoarder cases lately, doesn't it and 5 always seems to be my magic number. The girls are going to cost me a pretty penny they need dentals. That will probably run $200 or $300 and that is after getting them spayed, all shots, heartworm tested, wormed, flea treated and they are on medicine for their skin and ear medication. And their adoption fee is $150, yea so much for breaking even on them and people think we make money.
Fantasy girl is in fact a real person. I have never met her though. I only known her appearance 2 dimensionally and have only heard her voice over air waves. I am not one given to fantasizing about celebrities. There are celebrity women who are intensely beautiful in so many ways. From the ones whose personalities draw us in with the appearance of warmth and sincerity, to those who physical appearance inspires lust with just a glance, and all those in between. The reason I do not fantasize about celebrities is because they are not “real” to me. What I know of celebrities is that they set themselves apart in some way, and make themselves unapproachable. If I had to worry about being mobbed by strangers always asking for something, I imagine I would do the same thing. When I fantasize, I prefer fantasies in which I am the observer watching (and to some degree feeling) what is happening. Or I prefer a fantasy in which the person I am with wants and desires me thoroughly. It is that want and desire that feeds my own, and thus fuels the fantasy. So for me to fantasize about someone who I have only seen in pictures or have only heard the voice from places far away is highly unusual for me. Yet there is the fantasy.
Unless I hear differently sometime today, we will have guests arriving tomorrow. I cannot think of a time I've been less excited about entertaining guests. These guests are on a long driving trip through parts of the US & Canada. They called a few weeks ago and said they're like to stop by for three days. I'm not hosting them as such, they have hotel reservations. They would like us to tour the area with them. Now what could be wrong with that? This is the couple we haven't seen in twenty years. Will I even know these people? We were young military couples in those days, them from Louisiana and us from Texas. After the military they went back to Louisiana and we went back to Texas. I don't know about them, but I have changed drastically in the last twenty years. Bob has not, he remains ever the same. Will they still be the couple we knew so long ago or will they also have changed? Remember, she wants to purchase a manzanita bush to take back to Louisiana in their car. They want to see the Pacific Ocean. That's the better part of a day. Bob won't go. If they've driven this far on their own perhaps they can also find the ocean. I don't think it's that easy. I think they had in mind the four of us enjoying the day. Seeing the Portland Rose Gardens was the other request they asked from us. That we can do with ease. Two weeks ago the roses were still just buds so hopefully by now they should be bloomed out in all their splendor. Bob will go to the rose gardens so that should be a very nice day, except it's forecast to rain all three days they'll be here.
Yes, I have been gone a very long time, I know. I actually did not plan to be gone at all, let alone this long, but life is, what it is... unpredictable and sometimes overly busy. So, here I am with a small explanation of what has been happening as well as an explanation of why I may not be here regularly in the future. First of all, we just got through the rest of our holidays for the year. Fall is a very, very busy time for our festivals, but they are done and I don't have to do anymore holiday preparations until the end of February! I have been taking on my garden with a vengeance this week. Due to the holidays, it was in a state of neglect and looks like a jungle as the weeds are huge, thanks to a few rain showers. Yesterday I planted around three hundred pea plants. This may sound like a large number, but I really don't think it will feed our love of peas for very long. I also planted some more brassicas (broccoli, kale, cabbage, brussel sprouts) as our other plants were eaten. At the community garden we are not able to set up fences, so people or animals can just walk in and take your hard work.
The amazing thing is though I am surrounded by some pretty amazing people. My when my friend's baby was hurt I couldn't believe how many people who don't even know my friend but know me were jumping into help. All of the people that volunteer for my rescue are just amazing, I seriously couldn't do it without them. All the rescue folks who are willing to pitch in and help when another rescue person or one of their dogs needs help. The amazing people who have adopted from me and are always willing to help with the rescue or really with anything. I get so upset when people are nasty / mean / hurtful. I guess it is because logically I don't understand why they are acting in the manner in which they are acting but I need to not dwell on the idiots. I need to focus on all the amazing people I have come in contact over the years and all the amazing people who surround me. I do need to make sure that those who aren't "trusty worthy" or those who are mean / nasty / hurtful go away, far far away. I am slowly purging and it is freeing to purge b/c you don't have to deal with the nastiness but at the same time it sucks when it is someone you have known for so long. And people wonder why I do dog rescue. I like dogs way more then people, they aren't mean and nasty on purpose. They love you just for feeding them, they love you for being you. You can be you around a dog, they are ok with you having a bad day and won't hold it against you and they don't lie and they aren't jealous of you. Oh I love my dogs.